Let it be
No, this post is not my take on one of my favorite songs of all time, but instead a simple reminder to just let it be and let others be.
I'm young. I may feel old at times, but I know I am young. People are not shy in letting me know they think I look young. Sometimes I don't take that very well; it depends on the day. But what I always despise is when people question me for getting married "at such a young age." My decision to get married when I did has absolutely nothing to do with societal norms and everything to do with the fact that my husband and I were ready to commit to one another for a lifetime.
We were ready to commit to each other after one month of dating but decided that would be a little too strange, so we waited and got engaged 14 months into our relationship. I'll never forget when we had been dating for about nine months and someone said to me, "you don't really know a person until you've been with them for at least two years, and it takes about that long to know if you want to marry them." Says who? Who says there is an end-all, be-all rule for how long it takes to know you've found the one? There isn't a rule, and everyone is different. Every relationship is different. Why is it so difficult for people to understand and accept that?
My life is not over because I'm married. I am not lame because I am married. Before I even met my husband, I enjoyed Friday nights on my couch with a glass of wine and a book because sometimes I like "me time" (and I still get that time to myself). In fact, my life has been even more exciting since we got married almost one year ago (Nov. 22!) because I have my permanent travel buddy, someone to explore with (hello, we just moved halfway across the country to SF), someone to try new things with, someone to change and grow old with. My life is far from boring, and our marriage has elevated that sense of adventure and excitement in our lives.
But do you have to get married to have all of that? NO, you don't. And that's the whole point of my tirade. This is your life. Who am I to tell you what you should or should not do?
I don't really know why we do this to each other, and I hate generalizations so I am not going to go that route. But no matter the rhyme or reason, it has to stop. What is there to gain from judging others for the decisions they make? Spoiler alert: there is no gain. It doesn't make you more or less single or more or less married. At all. Not even a little bit.
We need to just let each other be. Your life isn't over because you're married, and you're not behind in life because you're not married. As long as you can find solace in your current situation, that's all that matters.
Also, our wedding was pretty fun.
Have you experienced awkward conversations like I have? If so, how did you deal with the conversation? I'd love to hear from you!