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HerStory Comeback

I'm bbaaaaaaack. And I am thrilled.

I kind of fell off the map. If you stuck with my Instagram feed, you may have an idea why. I'll give you the super short version: Case James Culotta and about 140 other kids.

When we moved back to Texas from San Francisco, there was no doubt I needed to make the move back into the classroom. That is where my heart and soul reside. I was determined to continue blogging once the school year started, but then in early July 2016, I found out I was pregnant. I was still determined to keep going with HerStory. There's no way I was the first pregnant teacher blogger; if others have done it, why couldn't I?

And there, my friends, was my problem. Others. Other bloggers. Other moms. Other teachers. Others.

I lived in comparison. I was stuck in a whirlwind of competition (although I didn't want to admit it), with others and with myself, and I could not fight my way out of it. I started this blog with the best of intentions, and I let the pressure of what I thought it could be completely engulf me, and I lost interest. My heart wasn't in it any more. I am pretty sure I told my husband I was going to stop blogging at least 10 times. He would just nod his head and play along with every venting session, knowing full well no matter what he said, I would make my own decision (he knows me well).

Let me tell you, that first trimester was r-o-u-g-h. I was sick and tired 95 percent (made-up statistic) of the time, and I did not see how I could possibly keep this blog going while teaching and growing a human inside of me, so I let that be the reason I quit.

And then I found myself preaching to my students about sticking with their passions, believing in their craft (whatever that may be), and I realized quickly that I gave up on my own passion and my own craft. Writing feeds my soul. It's an outlet that allows me to disperse thoughts, feelings, revelations, you name it through the written word, and I despised myself for allowing the stress and pressure of "making it" (what does it even mean to "make it" as a blogger anyway?) take over why I started in the first place.

My expectations are completely different this go-round, and I know exactly what I need out of HerStory this time: an outlet. And I hope it can be that for you, as well. I will still write my HerStory features (I absolutely love those), share fashion finds and lifestyle tips/tricks, and there will be a splash of motherhood (that won't be the sole purpose of HerStory, but I don't shy away from a chance to share about my sweet baby boy). I sincerely hope you find something here for you.

I'll share more on the book pictured later, but Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist has spoken to my soul over the past few months. Here's a little teaser that goes along with what I've felt recently: "After a lifetime of believing that the voices that mattered were Out There, approving or disapproving of me, I'm learning to trust the voice within, the voice of God's Spirit, the whisper of my own soul. And when you learn to listen to that voice, the screaming of the crowd matters less. In some blessed moments, it matters not at all."

Pretty amazing, huh?


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